50+ Hilarious Blonde Jokes (2021)

Blonde jokes are funny ways to poke fun at blondes. They are playful ways to joke about the intelligence of blonde women. They are only meant to be playful in nature. And shouldn't be used to insult another person. A "dumb blonde" joke is a type of joke that can be abrasive and rude. Below is a list of the best jokes about blonde women. These jokes play into the stereotype that blonde women are less intelligent.

50+ Best Funny Blonde Jokes (With Punch Line Answers)

1. What's a blonde's favorite color?

Plaid.

2. Why did the blonde put lipstick on her forehead?

Because she was trying to make up her mind.

3. How can you tell if a blonde has been making M&M cookies?

There are shells all over the kitchen!

4. What do you get when you line 3 blondes side by side?

A wind tunnel.

5. What are the similarities between a blonde, and a tornado?

After all the sucking and blowing, your car and house are gone.

6. How do you break a blonde woman’s nose?

Put a picture of a dick under a glass table.

7. Three blondes walk into a building.

You'd think one of them would've seen it..

8. How many blondes does it take to unscrew a light bulb?

1 to hold the lightbulb, 99 to turn the house.

9. How do you know a blonde has been using a vibrator?

Chipped teeth.

10. What do you do if a blonde throws a grenade at you?

Pull the pin and throw it back.

11. What is the difference between a blonde and a refrigerator?

The refrigerator doesn't fart when you pull your meat out of it.

12. What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?

I hope it's mine.

13. How do blonde brain cells die?

Alone.

14. Why couldn’t the blonde dial 911?

She couldn’t find the eleven.

15. What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells?

Pregnant.

16. What is the difference between a blonde and a man?

A blonde has a higher sperm count.

17. How do you kill a blonde?

Put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool.

18. What job did the M&M factory give to the blonde?

Proofreading.

19. Why was the blonde staring at the orange juice container?

It said concentrate.

20. Why do blondes wear hoop earrings?

They need a place to put their legs.

21. Why do blondes wear so much hair spray?

So they can catch all the things that go over their head.

22. How do you keep a blonde busy?

Put her in a circular room and tell her to sit in the corner.

23. What's a blonde say after multiple orgasms?

You fellows all on the same team?

24. How do you keep at blonde at home?

You build a circular driveway.

25. What do blondes do when their laptop freezes?

Microwave them.

26. Why did the blonde climb the glass wall?

To see what was on the other side.

27. Why does it take longer to build a blonde snowman?

You have to hollow out the head.

28. Why do blondes drive BMWs?

Because they can spell it.

29. How did the blonde break her legs raking leaves?

She fell out of the tree.

30. What do you call a blonde with one brain cell?

Gifted.

31. How do you confuse a blonde?

Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

32. Why didn't 19 blondes go into a bar?

The sign said 21+.

33. What did the blonde name her pet zebra?

Spot.

34. How do you keep a blonde busy?

Write “flip” on both sides of a sheet of paper.

35. What’s every blonde’s dream in life?

To be like Vanna White and actually learn the alphabet.

36. Why do blondes love boob jobs?

It’s really the only job they’re qualified for.

37. How do you confuse a blonde?

You don’t. They’re born that way.

38. How could you tell the blonde's boyfriend was also blonde?

Her bellybutton was very bruised.

39. How do you kill a blonde?

Put a knife in her hand and tell her to hug herself.

40. How do you keep a blonde in the shower all day?

You give them a shampoo that says "rinse, wash, and repeat."

41. Why was the blonde excited when she finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months?

Because the box said 2-4 years.

42. Why did the blonde sell her car?

She needed gas money.

43. What does a blonde do when you say "it's chilly outside"?

She grabs a bowl.

44. Three blondes are walking through the forest when they come across a set of tracks.

The first blonde says, "Hey, look at that, deer tracks!"

The second blonde chimes in and responds, "No, Becky, those are moose tracks!"

The third blonde steps in and says, "You two are both wrong, those are obviously elk tracks!"

The three blondes kept arguing about what animal left the tracks until they were eventually hit by a train.

45. A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were all lost in the desert.

They found a lamp and rubbed it. A genie popped out and granted them each one wish. The redhead wished to be back home. Poof! She was back home. The brunette wished to be at home with her family. Poof! She was back home with her family. The blonde said, "Awwww, I wish my friends were here."

46. There was a blonde who just got sick and tired of all the blonde jokes. One evening, she went home and memorized all the state capitals.

Back in the office the next day, some guy started telling a dumb blonde joke. She interrupted him with a shrill announcement, "I've had it up to here with these blonde jokes. I want you to know that this blonde went home last night and did something probably none of you could do. I memorized all the state capitals."

One of the guys, of course, said, "I don't believe you. What is the capital of Nevada?" "N," she answered.

47. A guy takes his blonde girlfriend to a football game.

A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team's bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience. "Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents." Dumbfounded, her date asked, "What do you mean?" "Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it, and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was, 'Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!' I'm like, hello? It's only 25 cents!"

48. A blonde has just gotten a new sports car.

She cuts out in front of a semi, and almost causes it to drive over a cliff.

The driver furiously motions for her to pull over, and she does.

The driver gets out and draws a circle and tells her to stand in it.

Then he gets out his knife and cuts up her leather seats.

He turns around and sees she's smiling.

So he goes to his truck, takes out a baseball bat, and starts busting her windows and beating her car.

He looks back to see that she's laughing.

He's really mad now, so he takes his knife and slices her tires.

He turns around and she's laughing so hard, she's about to fall down.

He demands, "What's so funny?"

She says, "Every time you weren't looking, I stepped out of the circle!"

49. Hear about the blonde that got an AM radio?

It took her a month to realize she could play it at night.

50. A blonde walks into an electronics store and asks the manager, “Can I buy that TV?”

The manager says “No,”

“Why not?” says the blonde.

“Because you're a blonde," says the manager.

So the blonde goes out and dyes her hair red.

She returned to the electronic store and said, “Can I buy that TV?”

“No”

“Why not?”

“You're a blonde.”

So the blonde goes and shaves her hair off and returns to the electronic store and says, “Can I buy that TV?”

“No”

“Why not?”

“You’re a blonde.”

“How can you tell I’m a blonde, I dyed my hair red, then shaved it off!”

“Because that’s not a TV, that’s a microwave!”

51. Where does a blonde fill up at the gas station?

At the air pump.

52. Two blondes were on their way to Disneyland.

When they approached the last highway they saw a sign that said "Disneyland left." After a few minutes, the blonde driver said, "Oh well, and turned around and went home."

53. What is the best blonde secretary in the world to have?

One that never misses a period.

54. How do you keep a blonde in the shower all day?

Hand her a bottle of shampoo that says “lather, rinse, repeat."

author: patrick algrim
About the author

Patrick Algrim is a Certified Professional Resume Writer (CPRW), NCDA Certified Career Counselor (CCC), and general career expert. Patrick has completed the NACE Coaching Certification Program (CCP). And has been published as a career expert on Forbes, Glassdoor, American Express, Reader's Digest, LiveCareer, Zety, Yahoo, Recruiter.com, SparkHire, SHRM.org, Process.st, FairyGodBoss, HRCI.org, St. Edwards University, NC State University, IBTimes.com, Thrive Global, TMCnet.com, Work It Daily, Workology, Career Guide, MyPerfectResume, College Career Life, The HR Digest, WorkWise, Career Cast, Elite Staffing, Women in HR, All About Careers, Upstart HR, The Street, Monster, The Ladders, Introvert Whisperer, and many more. Find him on LinkedIn.

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