Hilarious Corny Jokes (250+ to Crack You Up in 2022)
Are you looking for the best corny jokes to tell someone? Good corny jokes can be hard to think of on the spot. But these types of corny jokes are great mood boosters and are often so stupid they're actually funny.
So, if you've been looking for some funny jokes, or if you enjoy telling dad jokes and making everyone roll their eyes, this is a comprehensive list of the best corny jokes!
From funny jokes for kids to ones appropriate for a group of friends, this list has it all.
How to tell a corny joke
The key to making a corny joke funny is your delivery.
Delivery is especially applicable when the joke's answer is a pun.
That said, try and be patient and put more emphasis on the joke's punch line so your audience can really grasp why the joke is funny.
Of course, it also helps if you add emotions and positive energy to your voice while you're delivering the joke.
Telling a joke in a monotone makes it difficult to get the point across.
Therefore, adding inflection in your cadence while telling the joke and its punch line can make it hilarious!
Good corny jokes: the not-a-door joke
When is a door not a door?
Answer: When it is ajar.
Why did the baby strawberry cry joke
Why was the baby strawberry crying?
Answer: Because her mom and dad were in a jam.
Corny jokes for everyday use
Why don't they play poker in the jungle?
Answer: There are too many cheetahs!
What kind of clothes do lawyers wear to court?
What type of underwear do lawyers wear?
Why do bees have sticky hair?
Answer: Bees have sticky hair because they use honeycombs.
What do you call a cheating gummy bear?
Answer: A scummy bear.
Why did the barber win the race?
Answer: Because he took a shortcut.
What has four wheels and flies?
Answer: A garbage truck.
What do you call a bear without teeth?
Answer: A gummy bear.
Corny jokes to make kids laugh
What do you call a sleeping bull?
Answer: A bull-dozer.
What does a baby computer call its dad?
How do you make an octopus laugh?
Answer: With ten-tickles.
Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
Answer: If they flew over the bay, they would be called bagels.
Why can't you trust duck doctors?
Answer: Because they're all quacks.
Why didn't the invisible man get invited to the Halloween party?
Answer: Everyone knew he wouldn't show up.
Why did the invisible man flunk out of math?
Answer: He couldn't count his fingers.
What do you call an alligator detective in a vest?
Answer: An investa-gator.
Dad jokes to tell your friends
What's the difference between a well-dressed man on a bicycle and a poorly dressed man on a unicycle?
Answer: Attire (a tire).
What do sea monsters eat?
Answer: Fish and ships.
Why did the scarecrow win an award?
Answer: Because it was outstanding in its field.
How do you make a tissue dance?
Answer: You put a little boogie in it.
Why did the duck buy lipstick?
Answer: To add it to his bill.
What do you call an alligator detective?
Answer: An investa-gator.
How do you make Lady Gaga mad?
Answer: Poke her face.
Why did the golfer bring an extra pair of pants when he went golfing?
Answer: In case he got a hole in one.
The best dad joke for you
Why shouldn't you write with a broken pencil?
Answer: Because it's pointless.
If athletes get athlete's foot, what do elves get?
Why did the robber jump in the shower?
Answer: Because he wanted to make a clean getaway.
What do you call it when Batman skips church?
Answer: Christian Bale.
Why didn't the vampire attack Taylor Swift?
Answer: Because she has bad blood.
What does the bartender say after a hamburger walks into the bar?
Answer: "I'm sorry, we don't serve food here."
What do you do with a sick boat?
Answer: Take it to the doc.
Corny jokes to win over your father-in-law
Why did the golfer bring an extra pair of socks?
Answer: In case he got a hole in one of them.
How do you fix a cracked pumpkin?
Answer: With a pumpkin patch.
Why did the restaurant hire the pig?
Answer: He was really good at bacon (baking).
What do sprinters eat before a race?
Answer: Nothing, they fast instead.
What did the football coach say to the broken vending machine?
Answer: Give me my quarter back.
How do you find Will Smith in the snow?
Answer: You look for fresh prints.
Some of the best dad jokes out there
Why shouldn't you fart in an Apple store?
Answer: Because they don't have windows.
Why don't melons get married?
Answer: Because they cantaloupe (can't elope).
Why couldn't the pirate play cards?
Answer: Because he was sitting on the deck.
What do you call a pig that does karate?
Answer: A pork chop.
What type of tree gives the best high fives?
Answer: A palm tree.
What do you call a parade of rabbits marching backward?
Answer: A receding hare line.
Funny jokes for the office
Can February march?
Answer: No, but April may.
What do you call a boring dinosaur?
Answer: A dino-snore.
Why does Waldo wear striped shirts?
Answer: Because he doesn't want to be spotted.
What one tomato say to the other tomato?
Answer: Ketchup! (Catch up)
What do you call cheese that isn't yours?
Answer: Nacho cheese.
What do you call a snake wearing a hard hat?
Answer: A boa constructor.
What do you get when you cross a cow with a trampoline?
Answer: A milkshake.
What do you get when you cross a ghost with a cat?
Answer: A scaredy cat.
Corny dad jokes
Did you hear about the guy getting hit by the same bicycle everyday? It was a vicious cycle.
I'm afraid for the calendar. Its days are numbered.
My doctor said I should do lunges to stay in shape. That would be a big step forward.
Singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth. Then it's just a soap opera.
Math should really solve its own problems.
I only know 25 letters of the alphabet. I don't know "y."
I don't trust those trees. They seem kind of shady.
I just turned down a job offer in Seoul. I think it would be a bad Korea move.
Corny jokes to make the family laugh
Why did the bike fall over?
Answer: It was two tired to stand.
Why did the invisible person turn down the job offer?
Answer: He couldn't see himself doing it.
Why did the student eat his homework?
Answer: His teacher told him it was a piece of cake.
Why did the kid cross the playground?
Answer: To get to the other slide.
What is a snake's favorite school subject?
Corny jokes about soccer
What is a ghost's favorite soccer position?
Answer: Ghoul keeper.
Why can't Cinderella play in a soccer match?
Answer: Because she always runs away from the ball.
Why won't grasshoppers watch soccer?
Answer: They watch cricket instead.
What lights up a soccer stadium?
Answer: A soccer match.
What is it called when a dinosaur scores a goal?
Answer: A dino-score.
Why did the soccer ball quit the team?
Answer: It was tired of being kicked around.
Classic corny jokes
What do you call a priest that becomes a lawyer?
Answer: A father in law.
What is the best thing about Switzerland?
Answer: I'm not sure, but the flag is a big plus.
Where do you learn to make a banana split?
Answer: Sundae school.
What do you call a poor Santa Claus?
Answer: St. Nickel-less.
How do you get a squirrel to like you?
Answer: Act like a nut.
What do you call someone with no body and no nose?
Answer: Nobody knows.
Did you hear the rumor about butter?
Answer: Well, I'm not going to spread it...
Why can't a nose be 12 inches long?
Answer: Because then it would be a foot.
What kind of car does an egg drive?
Answer: A yolks-wagen.
How do you make 7 even?
Answer: Take away the "S."
Why didn't the skeleton climb the mountain?
Answer: It didn't have the guts.
How does a taco say grace?
Answer: "Lettuce pray."
What do you call it when a snowman throws a tantrum?
Answer: A meltdown.
What kind of shoes do ninjas wear?
How does a penguin build it house?
Answer: Igloos it together.
What does garlic do when it gets hot?
Answer: It takes its cloves off.
What's a robot's favorite snack?
Answer: Computer chips.
What do clouds wear?
How can you tell if a tree is a dogwood tree?
Answer: By its bark.
Where do young trees go to learn?
Answer: Elementree school.
What's the best way to watch a fly fishing tournament?
Answer: Live stream.
Even more funny corny jokes
When does a joke become a dad joke?
Answer: When it becomes apparent.
What's an astronaut's favorite part of a computer?
Answer: The space bar.
Why are elevator jokes so classic and good?
Answer: They work on many levels.
What do you call a fake noodle?
Answer: An impasta.
Which U.S. state has the most streets?
Answer: Rhode Island.
What did the coffee report to the police?
Answer: A mugging.
What did the fish say when he hit the wall?
If you see a crime at Apple, what does that make you?
Answer: An iWitness.
The best corny jokes to tell at a party
Why did the clydesale give the pony a glass of water?
Answer: Because he was a little horse.
What did the policeman say to his belly button?
Answer: "You're under a vest."
What's the difference between the bird flu and the swine flu?
Answer: One requires "tweetment" and the other requires an "oinkment."
Why are there gates around cemeteries?
Answer: Because people are dying to get in.
Where can you buy soup in bulk?
Answer: The stock market.
What is brown and sticky?
Answer: A stick.
What did the yoga instructor say when her landlord tried to evict her?
When do computers overheat?
Answer: When they need to vent.
What do you call a factory that sells good products?
Answer: A satis-factory.
What kind of music do planets like?
How do rabbits travel?
Answer: By hare-planes.
Why did the mushroom go to the party?
Answer: Because he was a fungi.
Why does a chicken coop only have two doors?
Answer: Because if it had four doors it would be called a chicken sedan.
What was the frog's job at the hotel?
Answer: A bellhop.
What do cows like to read most?
Why did the photo go to jail?
Answer: Because it was framed.
What has more lives than a cat?
Answer: A frog because it croaks every day.
What's the best way to burn 1,000 calories?
Answer: Leave a pizza in the oven.
Why don't eggs tell jokes?
Answer: They crack up too easily.
Why shouldn't buy things with Velcro?
Answer: Because it's a rip-off.
What do you call a snobby criminal going down the stairs?
Answer: A con descending.
How did the hipster burn his tongue?
Answer: He drank his coffee before it was cool.
What kind of tea is hard to swallow?
What do you call a man that irons clothes?
Answer: An iron man.
Where does the electric cord go to shop?
Answer: An outlet mall.
Why are frogs so happy?
Answer: Because they eat whatever bugs them.
Why can't you trust the king of the jungle?
Answer: Because he's always lion.
Why did the stadium get so hot after the game?
Answer: All the fans left.
Why were the fish's grades so bad?
Answer: Because they were below sea level.
Why wouldn't the shrimp share his snack?
Answer: He was shellfish.
Why wouldn't the poppy seeds leave the casino?
Answer: Because he was on a roll.
What kind of music do mummies listen to?
Answer: Wrap music.
What does a piece of corn say when it gets a compliment?
Answer: "Aw, shucks!"
What did the elevator say when it sneezed?
Answer: "I think I'm coming down with something."
Why are elephants so wrinkly?
Answer: Because you can't iron them.
Why couldn't the pirate learn the alphabet?
Answer: Because he got lost at "C."
What did the ocean say to the shore?
Answer: Nothing. It waved instead.
What runs but never goes anywhere?
Answer: A fridge.
What do you call a pile of cats?
Answer: A meow-tain.
What do horses say when they fall?
Answer: "I can't giddy up."
How can you impress a baker?
Answer: Bring him flours.
How does a rancher keep track of his cattle?
Answer: With a cow-culator.
Which types of flowers are the best kissers?
What did the cake say to the fork?
Answer: "You want a piece of me?"
Our favorite resources are included below.
Job interview resources
- Common Interview Questions by Marquette University
- Prepare for Behavioral Interview Questions by Marquette University
- Preparing for Job Interviews by the University of Kansas
- Mock Interview Handbook by CSUCI
- Interview Guidebook by Lebanon Valley College
Resume and cover letter resources
- Writing a Resume and Cover Letter by USC
- Resume Writing Tips by the University of Wisconsin-Madison
- Resume and Cover Letter Guide by Harvard University
Job search resources
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