Orphan Jokes (100+ Dark Yet Funny for 2022)

Looking for orphan jokes that might make you cringe? If dark humor is what you crave - these jokes would satisfy you to the fullest!

Orphans: Don't they make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside? I mean, who can resist a kid who's lost both his parents? Then has to go live in a malodorous orphanage because he has nowhere else to go. Not I, that's for certain. That's why I enjoy good orphan jokes.

Here's a list of 45 hilarious orphan jokes. They're sure to make you chuckle. And if you don't, I'm sure there's a home for you at the orphanage. Enjoy!

orphan jokes

Best funny orphan jokes to tell (dark humor)

I created a website for orphans.

Answer: Sadly, it is still without a home page.

Why is it not a problem to hit an orphan?

Answer: They can't inform their parents anyway!

Why did the orphan visit the church?

Answer: He thought his 'Father" was waiting for him there!

Why is it that orphans love Frisbees so much?

Answer: Because they return eventually.

How many orphans does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Answer: One to screw it in, and 99 to ask "Are you, my mother?"

Why did the idiot orphan eat his homework?

Answer: Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!

Why is it that orphans leave the house so often?

Answer: They're trying to find someone to watch the other orphans.

How did the orphan become so successful at cricket?

Answer: Everyone told him "go big or go home", he had only one choice.

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Judge: You have been sentenced for killing your parents!

Accused: Kindly give me a softer punishment, your honor.

Judge: Why would I do that?

Accused: I’m an orphan.

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Being an orphan isn’t that bad. The silver lining is that all your treats will be family-sized.

What did one orphan tell his sidekick orphan?

Answer: Get in the Bat-mobile, Nightwing.

Why is it that orphans commit so many crimes?

Answer: To feel "Wanted"

orphan jokes

Why is it that orphans do not enjoy Electronic Dance Music?

Answer: Orphans have no idea what "House" music is.

What is an orphan’s most hated song?

Answer: 'Keep the Family Close' by Drake.

What is an orphan’s most hated TV show?

Answer: F is for Family

What is an orphan’s most hated movie?

Answer: The Family Holiday

What’s an orphan’s most loved music band?

Answer: Sly and the Family Stone

What is an orphan's favorite beer brand?

Answer: Foster's

Why is it that orphans always mix water with cereal?

Answer: Because their father did not return home with milk.

What’s the key difference between an orphan and a mango?

Answer: Mangoes get picked.

What’s the benefit of being an orphan?

Answer: Nobody makes jokes about your parents!

What's another benefit of being an orphan?

Answer: You won't have to do any homework.

Why is it that orphans are so bad at baseball?

Answer: They have no idea where home is.

Why did the orphan buy an iPhone X?

Answer: The phone doesn't have a home button.

Why can't orphans partake in school excursions?

Answer: They cannot obtain the signature of their parents.

What’s the difference between Charizard and an orphan?

Answer: Charizard, I choose you!!!

orphan jokes

A blind kid asks an orphan-

Answer: "What is one similarity we share between us?"

The orphan replies-

"Neither of us can see our parents"

Why did the orphan fail the "Ancient Egypt History" test?

Answer: He had no idea what a mummy is.

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Teacher: I was an orphan as a child.

Students: Sorry to hear that Sir.

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Teacher: Is anyone absent?

Students: Your parents sure are!

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Which is the least favorite day of an orphan?

Answer: Mother's Day

Why can’t an orphan work as an IT support specialist?

Answer: Because they don't know about the motherboard.

How do you make an orphan's legs swell up?

Answer: Tell him to keep walking up & down the stairs until his parents return home.

Why can orphans keep traveling here & there?

Answer: They seldom get homesick

Why did the orphan decide to get into hookin'?

Answer: She wanted to be with a sugar daddy

orphan jokes

Why does the orphan feel lucky in Gotham City?

Answer: There is a high chance that Batman will make him his sidekick someday!

What's the other word for an orphan's family photo?

Answer: A selfie

What is an orphan's favorite video game?

Answer: Family Simulator (The Sims)

Which movie genre does an orphan hate the most?

Answer: Family drama

Why did the orphan not buy any gift from the shop?

Answer: They were selling gifts on account of Father's Day.

Why was the orphan kicked out of the doctor's chamber?

Answer: He was a family doctor

What biscuit has an orphan never tasted?

Answer: Homemade biscuit

What differentiates a criminal from an orphan?

Answer: Only the criminal is wanted

Why was the orphan not allowed to contest in the TV show?

Answer: The name of the show was - Family Feud

How do you detect a lying orphan?

Answer: When they swear on their mother’s life

Why is it that orphans always refuse to play hide and seek?

Answer: They realize nobody will search for them

How to tell a good joke

Here's how to tell a good joke.

Look for good timing

Timing is everything. Don't try to interrupt a conversation. Or speak too loudly to a group of people. Look for a quiet time when the mood needs a laugh.

Pick a unique joke

A joke that everyone has already heard before isn't going to make an impact. Instead, look for a joke that will bring a smile to someone's face because they haven't heard it before.

Don't take it too seriously

Telling a joke is a great way to break the ice. Use it for a first date, for making new connections, or when meeting new people/colleagues. Don't take it too seriously. It will make it more challenging to deliver the joke with a strong impact.

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author: patrick algrim
About the author

Patrick Algrim is a Certified Professional Resume Writer (CPRW), NCDA Certified Career Counselor (CCC), and general career expert. Patrick has completed the NACE Coaching Certification Program (CCP). And has been published as a career expert on Forbes, Glassdoor, American Express, Reader's Digest, LiveCareer, Zety, Yahoo, Recruiter.com, SparkHire, SHRM.org, Process.st, FairyGodBoss, HRCI.org, St. Edwards University, NC State University, IBTimes.com, Thrive Global, TMCnet.com, Work It Daily, Workology, Career Guide, MyPerfectResume, College Career Life, The HR Digest, WorkWise, Career Cast, Elite Staffing, Women in HR, All About Careers, Upstart HR, The Street, Monster, The Ladders, Introvert Whisperer, and many more. Find him on LinkedIn.

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