Orphan Jokes (100+ Dark Yet Funny for 2022)
Looking for orphan jokes that might make you cringe? If dark humor is what you crave - these jokes would satisfy you to the fullest!
Orphans: Don't they make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside? I mean, who can resist a kid who's lost both his parents? Then has to go live in a malodorous orphanage because he has nowhere else to go. Not I, that's for certain. That's why I enjoy good orphan jokes.
Here's a list of 45 hilarious orphan jokes. They're sure to make you chuckle. And if you don't, I'm sure there's a home for you at the orphanage. Enjoy!
Best funny orphan jokes to tell (dark humor)
I created a website for orphans.
Answer: Sadly, it is still without a home page.
Why is it not a problem to hit an orphan?
Answer: They can't inform their parents anyway!
Why did the orphan visit the church?
Answer: He thought his 'Father" was waiting for him there!
Why is it that orphans love Frisbees so much?
Answer: Because they return eventually.
How many orphans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Answer: One to screw it in, and 99 to ask "Are you, my mother?"
Why did the idiot orphan eat his homework?
Answer: Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
Why is it that orphans leave the house so often?
Answer: They're trying to find someone to watch the other orphans.
How did the orphan become so successful at cricket?
Answer: Everyone told him "go big or go home", he had only one choice.
Judge: You have been sentenced for killing your parents!
Accused: Kindly give me a softer punishment, your honor.
Judge: Why would I do that?
Accused: I’m an orphan.
Being an orphan isn’t that bad. The silver lining is that all your treats will be family-sized.
What did one orphan tell his sidekick orphan?
Answer: Get in the Bat-mobile, Nightwing.
Why is it that orphans commit so many crimes?
Answer: To feel "Wanted"
Why is it that orphans do not enjoy Electronic Dance Music?
Answer: Orphans have no idea what "House" music is.
What is an orphan’s most hated song?
Answer: 'Keep the Family Close' by Drake.
What is an orphan’s most hated TV show?
Answer: F is for Family
What is an orphan’s most hated movie?
Answer: The Family Holiday
What’s an orphan’s most loved music band?
Answer: Sly and the Family Stone
What is an orphan's favorite beer brand?
Why is it that orphans always mix water with cereal?
Answer: Because their father did not return home with milk.
What’s the key difference between an orphan and a mango?
Answer: Mangoes get picked.
What’s the benefit of being an orphan?
Answer: Nobody makes jokes about your parents!
What's another benefit of being an orphan?
Answer: You won't have to do any homework.
Why is it that orphans are so bad at baseball?
Answer: They have no idea where home is.
Why did the orphan buy an iPhone X?
Answer: The phone doesn't have a home button.
Why can't orphans partake in school excursions?
Answer: They cannot obtain the signature of their parents.
What’s the difference between Charizard and an orphan?
Answer: Charizard, I choose you!!!
A blind kid asks an orphan-
Answer: "What is one similarity we share between us?"
The orphan replies-
"Neither of us can see our parents"
Why did the orphan fail the "Ancient Egypt History" test?
Answer: He had no idea what a mummy is.
Teacher: I was an orphan as a child.
Students: Sorry to hear that Sir.
Teacher: Is anyone absent?
Students: Your parents sure are!
Which is the least favorite day of an orphan?
Answer: Mother's Day
Why can’t an orphan work as an IT support specialist?
Answer: Because they don't know about the motherboard.
How do you make an orphan's legs swell up?
Answer: Tell him to keep walking up & down the stairs until his parents return home.
Why can orphans keep traveling here & there?
Answer: They seldom get homesick
Why did the orphan decide to get into hookin'?
Answer: She wanted to be with a sugar daddy
Why does the orphan feel lucky in Gotham City?
Answer: There is a high chance that Batman will make him his sidekick someday!
What's the other word for an orphan's family photo?
Answer: A selfie
What is an orphan's favorite video game?
Answer: Family Simulator (The Sims)
Which movie genre does an orphan hate the most?
Answer: Family drama
Why did the orphan not buy any gift from the shop?
Answer: They were selling gifts on account of Father's Day.
Why was the orphan kicked out of the doctor's chamber?
Answer: He was a family doctor
What biscuit has an orphan never tasted?
Answer: Homemade biscuit
What differentiates a criminal from an orphan?
Answer: Only the criminal is wanted
Why was the orphan not allowed to contest in the TV show?
Answer: The name of the show was - Family Feud
How do you detect a lying orphan?
Answer: When they swear on their mother’s life
Why is it that orphans always refuse to play hide and seek?
Answer: They realize nobody will search for them
How to tell a good joke
Here's how to tell a good joke.
Look for good timing
Timing is everything. Don't try to interrupt a conversation. Or speak too loudly to a group of people. Look for a quiet time when the mood needs a laugh.
Pick a unique joke
A joke that everyone has already heard before isn't going to make an impact. Instead, look for a joke that will bring a smile to someone's face because they haven't heard it before.
Don't take it too seriously
Telling a joke is a great way to break the ice. Use it for a first date, for making new connections, or when meeting new people/colleagues. Don't take it too seriously. It will make it more challenging to deliver the joke with a strong impact.
Our favorite resources are included below.
Job interview resources
- Common Interview Questions by Marquette University
- Prepare for Behavioral Interview Questions by Marquette University
- Preparing for Job Interviews by the University of Kansas
- Mock Interview Handbook by CSUCI
- Interview Guidebook by Lebanon Valley College
Resume and cover letter resources
- Writing a Resume and Cover Letter by USC
- Resume Writing Tips by the University of Wisconsin-Madison
- Resume and Cover Letter Guide by Harvard University
Job search resources
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