Harry Potter Jokes (100+ New and LOL for 2023)

Looking for funny Harry Potter jokes to tell? Harry Potter is the undisputed king of stories and movies of all time. It is a series that the majority of us grew up with and formed a serious emotional attachment to. With the massive popularity and fandom that this brilliant series created by J.K. Rowling comes a string of hilarious jokes. These jokes range from one liners to puns to dark jokes, and everything in between.

Harry Potter jokes, just like the series itself are some of the most sophisticated jokes of all time. However, you can also find a range of simple but really creative jokes to enjoy. In this article we will highlight some that take the cake.

harry potter jokes

Best harry potter jokes

The best Harry Potter jokes are simple yet funny. These jokes are something that even the newest members learning about the franchise can understand and enjoy. Some of these include:

The best Harry Potter puns can Slytherin to any conversation.

Why does Neville always need to use two toilets?

Answer: Because he has a Longbottom.

Which editor platform do you use to edit the best pictures?

Answer: A Dobby photoshop software.

Why did the protons vote for Harry instead of others?

Answer: Because they did not want to elect-Ron.

Funny harry potter jokes

All Harry Potter jokes are funny. No matter what kind of jokes you pick up or come across, every one of them is guaranteed to be funny enough to tickle your mind for a couple of days. Some of the top funny jokes about Harry Potter are:

Why was Professor Snape standing in the middle of the road?

Answer: So that no one will know which side he is on.

Why did Luscius Malfoy cross the same road two times?

Answer: Because he double-crosses everything.

How many muggles does it take to screw in a single light bulb?

Answer: One, and that is the only thing they are good for.

What is a book that bigfoot considers his favorite?

Answer: The Hairy Potter Series.

What is the best way to get a mythical creature inside your house?

Answer: You enter it through the Gryffindor.

harry potter jokes

Knock knock harry potter jokes

Would you believe that there are even knock knock jokes made on the Harry Potter franchise? Yep, you read it right, and here are some of the top favorites:


Voldemort: Knock Knock.

Harry: Who’s there?

Voldemort: You Know

Harry: You Know Who?

Voldemort: That’s right!


Sadie: Knock Knock

Harry: Who’s there?

Sadie: It’s me Sadie.

Harry: Sadie who?

Sadie: Sadie magic words to see me disappear.


Knock Knock

Harry: Who’s there?


Harry: Witches who?

Witches the way to Hogwarts, please?


Sirius: Knock Knock

Harry: Who’s there?

Sirius: It's Sirius.

Harry: Sirius who?

Sirius: Sirius-ly, how self involved are you?


Ron: Knock Knock

Harry: Who’s there?

Ron: Ron!

Harry: Ron who?

Ron: Ron for your life, the dementors are attacking us!

harry potter jokes

Clean harry potter jokes

Harry Potter jokes can get a little wild or inappropriate. If that doesn’t float your boat, here are some clean jokes about Harry Potter:

Where do you send a pig that wants to learn magic?

Answer: To Hog-warts.

How does Harry Potter get rid of a bad spell of itching?

Answer: By using quit-itch.

What do you call a family formed by Sirius Black adopting the Weasley children?

Answer: Orange is the new Black.

What does a stand-up comic say to Harry Potter?

Answer: Why so Sirius?

harry potter jokes

Dark humor harry potter jokes

Dark humor is not everyone’s cup of tea. But if it is something that tickles your fancy, you will find these Harry Potter jokes hilarious:

What do you call the Dark Lord if he gets electrocuted?

Answer: Lord Volt-emort

What do you call a member of the hufflepuffs with two brain cells?

Answer: Pregnant.

Why does Voldemort prefer Twitter over Facebook?

Answer: Because twitter requires followers, not friends

Why does the Dark Lord not wear glasses?

Answer: No one nose.


Harry: You take my breath away.

Dementors: That’s what she said.

Bad harry potter jokes

Well, to be honest, not all Harry Potter jokes are that funny. There are a few bad ones too, and here is a list of those:


Harry: Professor Snape, Voldemort is trying to…

Snape: Trying to do what?

Harry: Trying to steal my nose!


Luscious Malfoy: What type of a Dark Lord are you? Harry escaped from right under your nose!

Voldemort: Right under my what?


Olaf from Frozen: I have always wished to have a nose

Voldemort: Me too brother.


What makes Mad-Eye moody such an awful teacher?

Answer: Her inability to control her pupils.

There are hundreds of Harry Potter jokes just flooding the internet. Fans of the series will have a gala reading them and revisiting some of their favorite moments from the series. From the most insignificant to the most important characters. All have some unique jokes made on them for the public to enjoy!

harry potter jokes

How to tell a good joke

Here's how to tell a good joke.

Look for good timing

Timing is everything. Don't try to interrupt a conversation. Or speak too loudly to a group of people. Look for a quiet time when the mood needs a laugh.

Pick a unique joke

A joke that everyone has already heard before isn't going to make an impact. Instead, look for a joke that will bring a smile to someone's face because they haven't heard it before.

Don't take it too seriously

Telling a joke is a great way to break the ice. Use it for a first date, for making new connections, or when meeting new people/colleagues. Don't take it too seriously. It will make it more challenging to deliver the joke with a strong impact.

author: patrick algrim
About the author

Patrick Algrim is a Certified Professional Resume Writer (CPRW), NCDA Certified Career Counselor (CCC), and general career expert. Patrick has completed the NACE Coaching Certification Program (CCP). And has been published as a career expert on Forbes, Glassdoor, American Express, Reader's Digest, LiveCareer, Zety, Yahoo, Recruiter.com, SparkHire, SHRM.org, Process.st, FairyGodBoss, HRCI.org, St. Edwards University, NC State University, IBTimes.com, Thrive Global, TMCnet.com, Work It Daily, Workology, Career Guide, MyPerfectResume, College Career Life, The HR Digest, WorkWise, Career Cast, Elite Staffing, Women in HR, All About Careers, Upstart HR, The Street, Monster, The Ladders, Introvert Whisperer, and many more. Find him on LinkedIn.

Fact checked: Our small and dedicated team rigorously evaluates every article, guide, and reference to ensure the information is accurate and factual. Learn more.


Help us by spreading the word