Top Turtle Puns (150+ Hilarious Ones for 2023)

Looking for turtle puns? If you're looking for a hilarious way to add some fun to your next party or get-together, look no further than turtle puns! These clever wordplay jokes are sure to slither their way into your heart and leave you laughing.

Below are a list of some good and some TERRIBLE turtle puns. You'll be shaking your head in no time!

turtle puns

Best turtle puns

1. It rained strongly today. I noticed a turtle searching for a shell-ter to rest in.

2. A turtle stole some merchandise from a shop. When he was apprehended, he was taken to the shell block.

3. My closest buddy and I went to a turtle comedy class yesterday, but it didn't tortoise anything.

4. I witnessed a turtle get shocked today while playing near an electric board. I suppose you might call it shell-shocked.

5. A turtle's anniversary was approaching. So her buddies made arrangements to shell-ebrate her anniversary with her.

6. I recently met a fantastic chef who happened to be a turtle. People nicknamed him the slow cooker.

7. The turtle in the wild decided to change careers and become a photographer. He was known to the other creatures as the snap turtle.

8. A local scientist once created a new species by mixing a giraffe, a kangaroo, and a tortoise. The turtle-neck pullover is what he called it.

9. Turtles are adept at winning wars, presumably because they are quite good at shelling their opponents.

10. The turtle instructor at school announced that he will be presenting a new angle lesson the next day. He instructed his turtle trainees to bring a protracturtle.

11. We learned yesterday that a popular movie complex in our town was being destroyed. The news sturtled us all to our core.

12. One day, the turtle had a fancy dress party. All of the turtles who were invited were instructed to sport a turtle neck to the celebration.

13. Following a flood tragedy, a turtle helped at a relief center. He is a turtle who is shellfless.

14. There were two turtles in the vicinity of a waterfall. "Shall we jump?" one of them asked the other turtle. "Yes, we shell," the turtle said.

turtle puns

Sea turtle puns

Why is a turtle's wax so pricey?

"Because of their little ears."

Why can't a turtle eat McDonald's food?

"Because a turtle moves too slowly to eat fast food!"

What is a turtle's favorite sport?


Why are the turtles of Teenage Mutant Ninja so opposed to office work?

"Because they despise The Shredder."

What is green and clicks, clicks, clicks?

"A ballpoint pen turtle."

What is a turtle's preferred romantic move?

"Slow dancing"

What was the turtle's response to the taco?

"Is it my shell or yours?"

Valentine's day turtle puns

What's with the shell?!

There, Shell-o!

Should we have tea and crumpets?


All animal puns have a beak...

But before, allow me to take a shell-fie.

Puns about turtles are extremely spe-shell!

Don't be a shellfish.

That celebrity was a total shell-out.

That is one adorable turtle...

Today, our tortoise instructor (taught us) mathematics.

That was a shell-arious pun.

You need to come out of your shell, you introvert!

Turtles always enjoy a good shell-f existence.

The turtle monk swore to live a shell-ebacy existence.

Obama, Mi-Shell.

Snapchat - A tortoise's preferred social networking platform.

Stop being so shellow about your appearance.

That altar is where sacrifi-shell are made.

That commer-shell is vexing!

Funny turtle puns

Turtle king of Italy - Turtlini!

I got sturtled!

I'm experiencing turtle shock!

Add the numbers together to obtain the turtle.

Dude, you're a turtle!

Thor-toise/ Thor-tle - Mythical creatures with tough shells that manipulate thunder with a hammer.

Turtle-ini is a kind of pasta.

Turt-illa - A turtle wrap from Mexico.

Have a fantastic day, turtles!

Let us shell-ebrate your special day!

That is flippin' wonderful!

When penguins need to make a choice, they frequently flip a coin!

"Snappy Christmas!"

Clap your hands if you're snappy and know it...


What is the proper name for a flying turtle?

"It's a shellicopter."

My beloved turtle passed away.

"I'm not upset; I'm simply shell-shocked."

How do turtles interact with one another?

"By using shell phones."

What happens when you cross a turtle, a giraffe, and a kangaroo?

"A turtleneck sweater."

I was invited to a fancy dress party and decided to dress like a turtle.

"I had a shell experience."

Why would the turtle run across the street?

"To go to the Shell station."

What types of photographs do turtles take?


Why don't turtles forget?

"Because of the turtle recall."

What do you name a turtle who becomes interested in photography?

"A turtle that snaps."

What do you get when a truckload of tortoises collides with a trainload of terrapins?

"A turtle catastrophe."

What is the favorite sandwich of a Leatherback Sea Turtle?

"Jellyfish and peanut butter."

What would you call a chef who cooks turtles?

"It's a slow cooker."

What happens when you mix a turtle and a porcupine?

"A slow poker."

Yesterday, my wife and I attended a turtle pun class.

"It doesn't tortoise anything."

What do you do with criminal turtles?

"We're going to the shell-block."

How to tell a funny turtle pun

Here is a simple way to tell a funny pun.

Look for good timing

Timing a pun is what's going to make it great. Are you in a car wash? Think about a pun that has to deal with water. Or on a first date? Try to break the ice and build a connection with a short joke.

Don't take it too seriously

A relaxed and easy going delivery is going to make the pun funny. Some people will enjoy it, while others might not. It's up to them! A good laugh is great medicine.

Memorize a few

Always have a few puns in your back pocket. Look for ideal moments. Remember, timing is everything when it comes to funny jokes!

Don't look to be the center of attention

Telling a funny pun can be a great way for introverted people to come out of their shell and display their personality. Although, it's best to avoid trying to be the center of attention. Avoid telling your pun too loudly. Or trying to interrupt an active conversation just to show off your humor.

Where to use funny turtle puns

Puns can be a great way to make someone feel good. Use them in the following formats:

  • On social media captions (Instagram, Snapchat, Facebook, and TikTok).
  • On thank-you cards, birthday cards, "get well" cards, Valentine's Day cards, and more.
  • Randomly, when the moment strikes.
author: patrick algrim
About the author

Patrick Algrim is a Certified Professional Resume Writer (CPRW), NCDA Certified Career Counselor (CCC), and general career expert. Patrick has completed the NACE Coaching Certification Program (CCP). And has been published as a career expert on Forbes, Glassdoor, American Express, Reader's Digest, LiveCareer, Zety, Yahoo,, SparkHire,,, FairyGodBoss,, St. Edwards University, NC State University,, Thrive Global,, Work It Daily, Workology, Career Guide, MyPerfectResume, College Career Life, The HR Digest, WorkWise, Career Cast, Elite Staffing, Women in HR, All About Careers, Upstart HR, The Street, Monster, The Ladders, Introvert Whisperer, and many more. Find him on LinkedIn.

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